Josh And Depression Vs. The World: Day 30

I just want to be liked. But at the same time, I don’t want to be bothered. I wonder how the genie would react if I asked for those as my wishes?

The inside of the Genie’s magic lamp always seems well-furnished, which makes sense, given the Genie is a magical being.

But I digress. The other thing I would like is for life to be less complicated. Sometimes I fantasize about moving to the mountains. Then I remember that they are the mountains, and I am myself. Nevertheless, in my fantasy, I work in a shed. And a beautiful woman is attracted to my wild ruggedness. And then one day, I have to protect the property from foreign assassins.

Why didn’t they go with this slogan for the Equalizer 2: Denzel EQUALS Justice! I think they would have sold a few more tickets if they did that.

Lately, I’m noticing that I am worrying about things that are out of my control, and never as big of a deal as I make them. And if I’m not worried about one thing, I’m worried about another thing. I’m always worried. This is why I avoid alcohol and drugs, because the promise of relief from thinking is just too attractive.

With drugs and alcohol out of the picture, the only recourse left is to bury myself in work – to become so focused on a task, I forget about everything else. I finally understand the appeal of rock climbing. Not that I am interested in rock climbing. I prefer destroying myself emotionally, not physically. Call me old fashioned.

Just watch. That was my mom’s advice to me (she got this from a book on Buddhism, I believe). Don’t try to solve the problem. Just watch it.

Ok. So I’m a nervous wreck. I’m just watching my nervousness. My nervousness is still there. Still there. It’s still there. Still there. Still there. Oh, wait, hang on a minute… nope, still there. Still there. Still there.

Watching a kid walking by wearing a Super Mario Brothers shirt. I have respect for Mario. What other superhero doesn’t have the classic American Movie Star physique?

You know, the turtles call Mario “The Butcher Of The Mushroom Kingdom.”

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