Josh And Depression Vs. The World: Day 44

Today is my day off. Days off are deceptive, in that they are supposed to be a day off from aggravation, but are, at least for me, a day to focus on those other points of aggravation that I don’t have time to focus on while I am working. I’m so busy lately, I really only have Sundays to obsess over my feelings as a professional and romantic failure. I long for my 20’s when I could focus on those all week.

I hopped into the car and said “today, I’m going on an adventure. I’m going to eat at a different sushi restaurant than the sushi restaurant I usually eat at. And I’m not going to look up new sushi restaurants. I’m going to let fate guide me to my destination. Somehow I ended up in the Universal citywalk parking lot. Something about Universal Studios turned me off today – it all seem too put together and touristy. It’s the same kind of vibe I got when I went to Disneyland. How much sadness goes into maintaining the happiest place on earth? I imagine at least fifteen tons.

So I turned back, drove to the mall, and found a sushi restaurant that was right next to a Hooters, right behind a giant Sears parking lot. Now THIS is my kind of speed. Nothing says depression like a restaurant with a view of a parking structure.

My favorite moment of this adventure was looking out over the Los Angeles skyline – seeing the hills, the palm trees, the brightness of the August SoCal sun. It reminded me of the positive vibes of so many 1980’s detective movies. In fact, I started humming the theme from Beverly Hills Cop as I was driving, and for a brief second, all was well in the world.

Now, I’m sitting in the Barns And Noble Coffee Shop writing this. Next to me is a woman who is staring out the window and having a conversation with herself. She has a suitcase and two large bags, and I suspect she might be homeless. Nobody around her seems to notice what is happening – which means that everyone around her notices what is happening, but nobody is saying anything.

There’s an outside possibility that she is talking on a Bluetooth and I can’t see it, but I have a feeling that is not the case.

But she’s having a perfectly nice conversation. Who am I to judge – for all I know, she could be the happiest person in the room. What am I saying? Nobody is the happiest person in the room. The only person who seems happy lately is Obama.

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