Josh And Depression Vs. The World: Day 69
Some people use a Google Calendar. I allow all the things I have to get done to plague me in the middle of the night.
I saw an attractive woman today. And that is all.
I’m eating the Coffee Bean protein plate. Who says I’m not a risk taker?
I’m eating too much protein. I could give myself a heart attack, and I just realized that I’m not feeling guilty enough about animal cruelty. Good news is, the worrying is burning off all the calories.
It’s a beautiful morning. The birds are singing (screaming fiercely to mark their territory and/or shouting into the abyss for a mate that will never come on this Godless rock).
A lot of people have said loving things to me in the past few days, which can only mean one thing: the conspiracy against me is moving forward.
There’s so much I could do to make my life better (drinking).
I always find something to worry about. The only way for me to stop worrying is to start panicking.
I’m terrified I’m not living the life I want to lead. Then again, if I were rich, I’d be doing exactly what I am doing now, but with my own MRI machine.
Phil Rosenthal says I should travel to get a new perspective. What’s the point? I see myself in Italy, watching people suffer the same as all other humans but with better cuts of meat.
The only cure for me is distraction. It takes a movie like “Aliens Vs. Predators: Requiem” for me to forget my troubles.
It’s about Aliens and Predators fighting in a Colorado town (with Redwood trees???). But, given the title, it should have been a movie about Aliens and Predators fighting while Mozart is trying to finish his Requiem mass.
MOZART: Guys, seriously. I need to focus here.
PREDATOR: It just really bothers me when he doesn’t wipe his mouth.
ALIEN: I have very active salivary glands. What do you want from me?
PREDATOR: Have you heard of a napkin?
ALIEN: This from the Alaskan King Crab face.
PREDATOR: What the hell are those things coming out of your back?
ALIEN: I honestly have no idea. Nobody gives me a manual when I burst out of the chest of some schmuck.
PREDATOR: That’s not your…
ALIEN: Nope. I’ve experimented.
PREDATOR: It’s not, like, a breathing tube?
ALIEN: It’s not a breathing tube.
PREDATOR: Well, it’s got to serve some purpose.
ALIEN: Yeah. It prevents me from sleeping on my back, which is useful because I have sleep apnea.
PREDATOR: I have a mask for that.
MOZART: Please! Shut up! Shut up!