The only reason I don’t feel bad is because I don’t have the energy. Now THERE’S a status update for you.
I’ve come to the conclusion that my biggest problem is in avoiding failure. Namely, by avoiding failure, I have achieved an even deeper level of failure. So my aim is to embrace failure. After all, confidence comes with experience, and when it comes to failure, I’m a Fulbright Scholar.
I should start with a list of things that frighten me.
1 – Everything.
Ok, maybe I need to narrow my parameters.
1 – Everything.
2 – Everything else.
Ok, maybe I need to start small and work my way up.
I’ve always been afraid of writing one-liners. So I’m going to write some one-liners.
1 – I’m on a seafood diet. I “see” food and I “cry in the shower.”
2 – My family used to play “Trivial Pursuit.” We never played “Sorry” because saying that word out loud violated our family edict.
3 – I’ve decided to wear a fanny pack, because there’s still occasionally a person who is surprised when I tell them I’m single.
4 – I thought the sequel was going to be “Star Wars: The Force Hits The Snooze Button For Ten Minutes, Then Hits It Again, Sleeps Through the Meeting, And Spends The Rest of The Day Terrified It’s Going To Get Fired.”
5 – Yoga Pants – making me feel either guilty about being aroused or guilty about being disgusted.
6 – Chewbacca was quietly disappointed when Han refused to change his name to Duo, though he understood the emotional complexity of the situation.
7 – People wear track suits for two kinds of tracks: race and depression.