This is the last entry for this topic. There’s something about ninety entries that tells me it’s time to end this. Have I conquered depression? No. I’ve just watched it. And I’ve concluded that I have to take bigger risks. I have to attack failure – embrace it. I have to face my fears and failures. Make friends with them. That’s why the next blog is going to be Josh and Failure vs. The World. So all I’m doing is changing the name of the title – that’s terrifying from a branding perspective, which is why I’m going to do it.
Perhaps depression is the absence of forward momentum. Or at least, that’s what it is for me. It’s inaction. It’s treading water. Depression is what happens when I stop and think. Perhaps it’s time to start moving.
And the first thing I’m going to do is start a podcast. Which will probably lead me right back into another round of depression blogs.
Rather, I’m going to CONTINUE doing a podcast – I had started a podcast and stopped it because I didn’t think it was any good, and even though I am correct about that, it’s no reason to stop it. I have to get better at it. Look for the next episode to “drop” this Sunday. It’s called JoshCast – it’s me talking into a phone in my car. Probably no more than ten minutes.
I’ve been told by people that I should have a partner in this podcast. That is why I will not have a partner in this podcast- I want to be able to do this alone. I want to prove that I can stand on my own two feet. Is it ego? Absolutely. If Bill Burr can do it, why can’t I? (That’s what I’ll be telling the guy at head of the welfare line in five years) But if the next blog is going to be about embracing failure – what better place to start with than with ego.
There will always be depression – even after death, probably. In the beginning there was nothing (and depression). And God Created The Heavens And The Earth and liquor. That’s how I’d re-write genesis, because I believe in the facts.
I have absolutely no confidence in myself or what I am doing. But I’m going to proceed as if I had confidence, and if I’m really really lucky, nobody else will have confidence either, and my lack of confidence will seem confident by comparison.
Here’s my opinion on how you’re living your life – don’t let anybody tell you how you should feel. You feel what you feel. And it’s not wrong to be sad. For better or worse, you are your own damnation and/or salvation. Don’t you get it – you don’t need the sword of power because the power was within you all along (though being rich helps).
I reserve the right to back to writing about depression at any time, by the way. So don’t worry – you haven’t seen the last of it. Not with the kind of money to be made on sequels.
And so I say to depression the one thing that should be said: thank you.