Josh And Failure Vs. The World: Day 21

Josh and Failure Vs. The World: Day 21

I’m frustrated because I haven’t written anything that I am really excited about. (Insert first world problem comment here).

Specifically with the stand-up. How is this possible? I hate my life. Surely there should be enough to complain about. I hate being single – no, it’s not that. I hate being single and poor. I want to be in a relationship and rich. I think it’s important to be rich while being in a relationship because I want to be able to afford the negative fallout.

I was told that I should stop trying to avoid bad things happening to me and seek those things out – aka enter into a relationship even though every alarm bell in the southland is going off about our lack of compatibility. On the one hand, perhaps this person is right – perhaps to truly live, I must risk baring the whips and scorns of time. On the other hand, Netflix is 99% good enough, right?

But the purpose of this blog is to truly address failure – or, rather, to not allow the fear of failure to get in the way of the actions I want to take. So that means, I have no choice but to do the following: 1) trust in myself and 2) write a horror comedy.

I think I’ve missed the point of my own blog here. I should have said that I should ask somebody out – but I’m not there yet. I’m just not there yet.

And I also should trust myself and my writing, but I’m not there yet, either. I’m still – oh, wait – wait – it’s coming to me – I have to trust my emotions – that’s what I’ve got to do. I’ve got to trust my emotions. And I can’t be afraid of expressing my opinion, even if it’s unpopular – so here goes:

I can’t stand bicyclists. I know you’re a hero to the environment, but when I am driving in a car behind you, I am now traveling at the speed of environmentalism. Which is a problem, because I want to travel at the speed of environmental destruction.

“Bicycles are considered a vehicle.” That’s absolute bull honkey. The top speed of a bicyclist is .0001 miles per hour. I’m not exaggerating for comedic effect.

If a bicycle qualifies as a vehicle, then I should qualify to play in the NBA. Please give me a $5,000,000 contract. Thanks.

Oh, I also hate going to Rodeos -we’ll address that in the next blog.

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