Josh And Failure Vs The World: Day 3

Josh And Failure Vs The World: Day 3

Terrible open mic tonight. I did that thing where I go up hoping I figure out the punch line in the moment. The moment never arrived. I’m trying to talk about how much I don’t like Game Of Thrones, which is a losing argument. There’s nothing wrong with Game Of Thrones – it’s a quality show. I just happen to not care about (a) Dragons (b) intrigue or (c) people looking depressed, standing in snow.
Perhaps the last one is too close to home for me.

I prefer Dr. Who – there are more jokes. Game Of Thrones is so dramatic. All that backstabbing and bloodshed and murder. Between that and CNN, it’s all a downer.

I can tell Game of Thrones is quality because there are a lot of pauses between lines.

QUEEN: I hope you’re right.

(Pause long enough to watch an episode of Seinfeld)

KING: Me too.

There’s also a lot of important people looking out at the landscape. Rarely does anything in life happen to me that is so weighty and important for the people of the world, I have to stand up, walk to the window of my apartment, look out at the lawn gnomes and halloween decorations across the way, listen to the parrot that our one idiot neighbor has, and say, with solemnity, “And so it must be done.”

Does the person who eventually gets to sit on the Iron Throne have to actually sit on the Iron Throne? It looks uncomfortable. It’s decorative, isn’t it? The King or Queen sits on the throne one time, for the ceremony, and the rest of the time, he or she sits on an ergonomic chair from Office Depot, right?

It’s a chair made out of swords. I wonder if there’s a noblemen, who, upon seeing the throne said “hey, I think that’s my sword.” And his friend says “you’re crazy.” And he says “I lost my sword a month ago – I’m telling you, that’s totally my sword.” “Well, just let it go, man.” “I’m going to say something.” “Don’t say anything. Let it go, man! You’re going to get yourself killed. People get killed here for less.” “I really liked that sword. I called it Mindy.”

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