Josh and Failure Vs. The World: Day 30
Here’s how I failed today – totally tanked it at the open mic. Why? I cared more about what they thought as opposed to how I felt about what I was talking about.
I blamed the audience – something I really hate doing – it’s not their fault I’m not present.
Still eating badly – I ate an entire jar of Candy corn and a cookie.
So, what do I really care about? I don’t know, lately. Making a living as a stand-up comedian. Am I not getting up enough? Should I be getting up more – should I move to New York? I should be getting up more – I need to start hustling more. And I’m not working hard enough, either. I need to get up earlier in the day and really commit to the writing. A half hour is not enough. I need to commit to at least an hour.
But more than that – I need to genuinely not care about what the audience thinks of me, while simultaneously caring profusely about what the audience thinks of me. Stand-up is Zen Buddhism with rage and a bad diet.
I have the urge to write something else – a movie or a play – I always have this urge when the stand-up isn’t going well – which means I’m using those things to run away from this – I can’t run away anymore. I have to attack this head on. So I am resolved to get up earlier tomorrow, write more, and start getting up more around town. I have to. That is all there is to it.
And more jokes on twitter, like this one.
OVID: And that’s the end of my epic poem, The Metamorphosis.
AUDIENCE: God, man. Get a girlfriend.