Josh and Failure Vs. The World: Day 32

Josh and Failure Vs. The World: Day 32

I am eating a cookie AS I WRITE about my failure to eat healthy. I am failing while writing about failure simultaneously. This is a new personal worst.

Incidentally, I have a soft spot for desserts at Starbucks and Coffee Bean – you know- desserts that are “fresh.” I like them better than actual fresh desserts that were created by your Sicilian grandmother. Yes, all-natural sugar is good. But it’s not as good as the artificial sugar created by the greatest scientific minds in the world of food science.

I also didn’t write any jokes that I really liked. Perhaps that was because I was trying to write about losing my virginity at 32. You’d think there’s be a ton of material there, and you’d be right. I’m just struggling with facing the reality of it.

Can scientists stop telling me about the health benefits of sex? You know what’s bad for my health? Hearing how great for my health sex is when I am not having any. It’s like going on and on about the health benefits of quinoa to people starving in the desert.

Do the scientist take into account the health risks of being in a horrible relationship? Because I imagine those risks negate the benefits of sex.

Why are scientists studying this? It’s pretty easy to spot the couples who fornicate regularly in public – they’re the healthy-looking ones.

The more I think back on it, the more I regret not taking more risks with women. To avoid failure is to avoid life.

I just can’t bring myself to do it. I can’t bring myself to go up to a woman I am attracted to and at least try to talk to her. There’s too much fear.

It reminds me of the community pool I used to go to. The deep end of that pool terrified me. It took me years to swim across it. But I did swim across it, eventually. Now I rarely, if ever, swim. So the whole endeavor of life is meaningless. I think I accomplished a lot here today.

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