Josh and Failure Vs. The World: Day 37

Josh and Failure Vs. The World: Day 37

Here’s how I failed lately: I haven’t been keeping up with the blog posts.
I could reframe this to say that I am succeeding at NOT being obsessive about writing this blog, Yes? No. Ok, then.

I’m really struggling to feel motivated to keep going with anything.

And I’m beating myself up over the set I did tonight – why? Because I DIDN’T PLAY TO THE TOP OF MY INTELLIGENCE.

I should know better than this – why do I keep making the same mistakes? I’m very frustrated with myself. Horribly frustrated with myself.

And I also just ate a cookie again, which is terrible, considering I have had bad bowel problems all week.

But to the matter at hand- it’s a battle to feel motivated to keep going. Even writing this blog is a battle. Or am I just losing interest in all of this? Am I on the cusp of giving up a dream, or has the dream simply changed to become something else?

Why am I not playing to the top of my intelligence? Why do I keep settling for work that is less than my best? Why am I not doing what I keep telling everyone else to do, which is to be HONEST?

That’s a terrific question. I just have to keep calling myself out on this until I make the shift –

All I do know is that we have to love each other – and it is only through love that we will triumph over evil.

But remember this about love – it is possible to love all human beings while simultaneously being annoyed and disgusted by them to the point of avoiding them at all costs. I’m pretty sure I’m quoting the Buddha.

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