My goal is not to cure depression or to even make friends with it. My goal is to be on ok terms with depression – to feel about depression the way I feel about Batman Forever – it’s not one of my favorites, but there are a few highlights that I occasionally enjoy watching.
Batman Forever has a particular meaning for me – my dad and I saw it on the day his aunt (my great aunt – I don’t know why I’m telling you that – if you know she was his aunt, you could induce that she was my great aunt) – – anyway, we saw the movie on the day his aunt died.
Neither of us enjoyed the movie and so we were already in a bit of a down mood when we got home. Mom conveyed the news.
“Betty died.” She then asked him not to shut down the way he did when his brother died. I remember that dad was quiet for the rest of the night. He’s always fairly quiet. But slightly more so after hearing this.
I think my father and I share the dubious honor of being trapped within ourselves. Maybe we’re all trapped within ourselves. Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s Maybelline.
I remember more about how he reacted than about how I felt. I hadn’t seen Betty for years. I’m tempted to tell myself that if I were a better person, I would have felt something.
The point is, the bad guys in Batman Forever had machine guns with neon flair, and that’s just ridiculous.
I understand it’s just a movie. I really do. But when there are details like neon flares on machine guns, I get too caught up in the minutiae of it.
TWO-FACE: I need men for a bank job.
CRIMINAL: I’m your guy.
(Takes out a gun and cocks the trigger.)
TWO-FACE: Actually, I have guns for you.
CRIMINAL: No need. This is is my favorite gun.
TWO-FACE: You have to use my guns.
TWO-FACE: They have neon on them.
TWO-FACE: They have neon accents on them.
CRIMINAL: You mean… like a flashlight to help you see better?
TWO-FACE: If need be, yes.
CRIMINAL: What’s the purpose of the neon?
TWO-FACE: I’m trying to convey a menacing, yet glossy, sense of style.
CRIMINAL: For robbing a bank.
TWO-FACE: That’s correct.
CRIMINAL: If the guns have lights on them, won’t that make us easier to be targeted by the cops?
TWO-FACE: That is a likely risk.
CRIMINAL: Can I put neon on my own gun?
TWO-FACE: You can, but it’ll have to come out of your cut.
CRIMINAL: Do you know a place that adds neon to guns?
TWO-FACE: I do, as a matter of fact. There’s a place on 39th street. If you tell them you work for me, they’ll give you a discount.
CRIMINAL: Any particular color?
TWO-FACE: Oh, red, please. We are, after all, evil.
CRIMINAL: Sorry for asking such a stupid question.